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Beginners Guide to Bondage Toys

 

Beginners Guide to Bondage & BDSM

BDSM is a short acronym for the overlapping terms: Bondage and Discipline (B&D), Dominance and Submission (D&S), Sadism and Masochism (S&M). Yep, there are a lot of elements at play here! But there’s absolutely no reason to feel overwhelmed. Acting out your kinky fetishes with a bit of bondage is completely normal. In fact, ever since 50 Shades of Gray came on the scene, more and more people are comfortable with exploring this adventurous side of their relationship.

When it comes to BDSM, some people will immediately think of whips, handcuffs and a person in a gimp mask being led around on a chain. We’ll get to that later! But for now, why not change your perception and see bondage as a bit of kinky fun that not only feels good but can also do a whole lot of good for your relationship in the process. You’ll learn the importance of trust and perhaps see a whole new, sexier side of your lover.

Beginner BDSM Techniques In Detail

If you’re just starting out in the world of BDSM, there are heaps of simple yet effective ways to spice things up. You don’t need to go straight for the hardcore stuff. Think of it as a way of teasing, pleasing and pushing boundaries. Start off slow, keep the lines of communication open and don’t be afraid to have a bit of a laugh if things get awkward. Some of the sensations might surprise you, but don’t be afraid to explore them and hopefully you’ll reach new heights of pleasure along the way

Restraints

While restraint bondage can be an advanced technique it is also a lovely introduction to BDSM. Most people immediately think of ropes, but there are a number of different restraints on the market that give the same outcome.

Some of the most popular restraints for beginners include:

Limited - Grey Silk Ties

Limited - Grey Silk Ties

S&M Bondage Tape

S&M Bondage Tape

Elastabind Jockstrap Restraint

Elastabind Jockstrap Restraint

Black Rose Rosie Restraints

Black Rose Rosie Restraints

S & M Flexible Coil Restraints - Black

S & M Flexible Coil Restraints - Black

Price

$22.95

$8.95

$11.95

$15.95

$34.95

Length

12 cm

9 m

88.9 cm

Width

5.1 cm

5 cm

5.58 cm

Material

Silk/Nylon

PVC

Neoprene/Nylon

Nylon

Vinyl

Comparison of Top 5

This is a comparison of the top 5 beginner bdsm restraints.

PipeDream Fetish Fantasy Series Limited Edition Grey Silk Ties

There’s nothing quite like the feel of silk against skin. Instead of launching straight into restraining your partner, why not enjoy the feeling as these soft silk ribbons drape across your skin, tickling and teasing. Silk has a wonderful quality where it retains scent, so you could wear these against your skin all day and imbue them with your favourite perfume to add another sensory element to the fun. A low price point means they are a great introduction to BDSM and will last for years to come.

Sex and Mischief Bondage Tape

Here’s something a little bit different - bondage tape that only sticks to itself, never to you (or your body hair!). Less intimidating than handcuffs, a little bit more exciting than silk ties and super easy to use, we think you’ll love having this little roll of tape in your bedside drawer. Tie up ankles, wrists, use it as a blindfold or a gag – the only limit is your imagination. The tape is flexible but not stretchy, so measure up how much you will need and then cut your desired length. The PVC finish is reusable, so once you’re done simply roll it back up and pop it away for the next kinky session. It only sticks to itself, so there’s no risk of yanking out hairs or picking up fluff. One roll is about 76cm long and 5cm wide and can be unwound or cut with scissors when you’re done.

Sportsheets Elastabind Jockstrap Restraint

This one is purely for the guys. Instead of being tied with tape, scarves, ribbons or ties why not step into this black jockstrap and slip your wrists into the two sleeves located at the back of the harness. It’s a completely different sensation to being tied down, as you can remain standing with your hands firmly restrained behind you. Or turn it around and position your hands at the front, leaving the back completely open for anal play. It’s designed to fit most sizes, with the minimum waist size around 73cm. Made from a combination of stretchy Elastabind and PVC, the wrist restraints are snug but also comfortable enough to wear for long period.

Doc Johnson Black Rosie Restraints

Add a bit of colour to the mix with Doc Johnson’s stunning purple restraint. Made from the softest silk, there’s no risk of rubbing or chafing and you don’t need to muck around with buckles and clips. Simply slip your wrists or ankles through the loops and cinch them to your desired level of tightness. Loosen them or tighten them as you go, experimenting with the different sensations along the way. The material is a high quality and should last for many years, as long as you follow instructions and always hand wash carefully. Measuring 88.9cm long and 5.6cm wide it will not take up much room in your drawers. The soft material means you can wear it for long periods of time, making it ideal for beginners.

Sex and Mischief Flexible Coil Restraints

These are a great introduction to using coil restraints, made from bendy nickel free wire coated in soft foam. You’ll get one set of ties, each around 87cm long. Bend them, twist them, join them up or use separately and experiment with the sensation of tying your lover up. Use around wrists, ankles and throat or come up with something totally new. The sky’s the limit with these versatile restraints. They are a fun alternative to handcuffs, and can be used in a lot more interesting ways. Experiment with bending and twisting them to suit your mood. The inner wire is nickel-free and the foam cover is soft against the skin.

Handcuffs

Handcuffs are really versatile, and can be used in a number of different ways in order to bring your fantasies to life. Cuff your partner’s wrists and ankles to the bedposts, or cuff them to a chair or piece of furniture. You can even cuff their hands together and ask them to sit, lay or stand in any position you like. You can choose cuffs with or without padding, depending on the desired level of comfort. Maybe you want to feel the cold metal digging into your skin, or you might prefer something padded so you don’t experience any discomfort at all. The most important thing is to invest in a good, sturdy pair of cuffs that won’t break halfway through a session.

Ouch Beginners Handcuffs Furry

Ouch Beginners Handcuffs Furry

Adjustable Leather Handcuffs

Adjustable Leather Handcuffs

Scandal Control Cuffs

Scandal Control Cuffs

Silk Rope Love Cuffs

Silk Rope Love Cuffs

Fetish Fantasy Elite - Silicone Cuffs

Fetish Fantasy Elite - Silicone Cuffs

Price

$9.45

$19.32

$35.95

$25.95

$26.95

Length

Width

Material

Metal/Nylon

Polyester/Plastic

Silk/Nylon

Silicone

Comparison of Top 5

A comparison of the top 5 beginner bdsm handcuffs.

Ouch Beginners Handcuffs Furry

The furry padding on these cuffs adds a sensual element to being restrained, while the sturdy finish means you don’t have to worry about them breaking on the first use. They’re easy to operate - slide the catch into place to lock and then push down on the catch for a quick release. The cuffs also come with two sets of keys so you can play out a fun "Cops and robbers" fantasy if you choose. The easy to unlock catches mean you won’t run into trouble if you lose the keys.

Adjustable Leather Handcuffs

If you’re not ready to go for the full metal handcuff, or you simply don’t want to experience any type of discomfort against your skin then these are a good option. Made from super soft padded material and with thick Velcro to secure each cuff to your writer, you can get a taste for being handcuffed without the pain. The cuffs can be joined together with two fully adjustable clips, which means you can quickly separate them if need be. You can also use the cuffs individually, attaching wrists or ankles to bedposts, chairs and furniture.

Cal Exotics Scandal Control Cuffs

These soft cuffs have a graspable handle in the middle, so that you can place them around each ankle and allow your partner to grab hold for extra control. The cuffs are made from soft polyester with a stylish brocade pattern on the outside. The cuffs are connected by a Velcro strip and can be adjusted to fit up to around 35cm, so they’re pretty versatile. The two cuffs are joined by a polypropylene strap with a buckle in the middle, so you can join them together or use separately. If you’re placing them around the ankles, the idea is that your partner can essentially hold your legs in the air and gain a deeper level of penetration. However these can easily be used in the traditional sense ie. around the wrists.

PipeDream Fetish Fantasy Silk Rope Love Cuffs

Here’s a great introduction to the ancient Japanese art of rope play. It has been said that rope bondage originated in Japan before being introduced to the Western culture. If you’re curious about ropes but unsure about the harsh feeling against your skin, these silk ropes are a great start. You don’t need to know how to tie knots, simply cinch the plastic tighteners to keep ankles or wrists in place and start exploring your partner’s body. The plastic cinches mean the rope won’t fray, and the soft silk finish means you won’t be at risk of chafing, burning or irritation.

PipeDream Fetish Fantasy Elite Silicone Cuffs

Silicone is one of the most versatile materials available. It is hypoallergenic, non-porous, free of latex and nasty plastic softening chemicals and completely odourless. These cuffs are made from 100% medical grade silicone, so they’re perfect for anyone who has sensitive or easily irritated skin. They’re stretchy, smooth and can be adjusted to six different sizes with strong metal snaps. Silicone is also extremely strong, so there’s very little risk of breakage meaning these will last for years to come. These cuffs won’t tug at your body hair and can even be used in conjunction with water-based lube or massage oil. There are four colours to choose from, making these a really exciting addition to your toy collection.

Masks & Blindfolds

When you lose one sense, your other five senses become extremely heightened. Taking away the sense of sight by using a blindfold means you are more likely to smell, taste, feel and hear things more intensely, and it can be very exciting when you can’t see what’s coming next. Alternatively, wearing a mask can make the wearer appear completely anonymous. They can see you, but you can’t see them.

Scandal Eye Mask

Scandal Eye Mask

Sinful Blindfold

Sinful Blindfold

Black Rose Budding Blinder

Black Rose Budding Blinder

Ouch Subversion Mask Black

Ouch Subversion Mask Black

Price

$39.95

$14.95

$25.00

$20.95

Length

127 cm (length)

134.62 cm

Width

5.84 cm

Material

Polyester

Vinyl

Nylon

Comparison of Top 4

This is a comparison of the top 4 beginner bdsm masks and blindfolds.

Cal Exotics Scandal Eye Mask

This beautifully designed mask brings a stylish, sexy element of fun to being blindfolded. The padded eye mask has a lace trim, and the extra long ties are finished in a satin red brocade pattern. It’s sensual for the wearer to have against their skin, as well as being beautiful for the dominant partner to look at. The eye mask is double padded and double stitched, so there’s no chance of light peeking in and the 50cm ties drape beautifully down the wearer’s back.

New Sensations Sinful Blindfold

A departure from the traditional satin blindfold, this version features a hot pink or glossy black vinyl cover. The sturdy elastic straps ensure it doesn’t slip out of place and ruin the fantasy in the middle of a session and it offers enough coverage to prevent sunlight peeking in. The neoprene lining is soft against the wearer’s face and this is priced at a great starting point for beginners.

Doc Johnson Budding Blinder

Part of Doc Johnson’s luxurious Black Rose line of products, this is an extremely sensual blindfold made from high quality materials that will last and last. The silk eye mask feels soft against the skin, with a faux leather trim. It’s designed for wearing over a long period of time without causing any discomfort or difficulty with breathing. Ask your partner to tie the 65cm silk purple ties and feel them drape softly over your back. Hand wash only to ensure longevity of your luxurious blindfold.

Ouch Subversion Black Mask

This is a good way to introduce a mask into your BDSM sessions, without feeling overly intimidated. It stretches completely over the head with a zipper at the back, so you can quickly unzip and remove if it becomes uncomfortable for either partner. The lightweight fabric means the skin can breathe easily and your mouth and eyes are completely exposed. Being able to see and taste your partner makes this a great beginners mask before moving into territory where more and more of the face is covered up. Enjoy the feeling of anonymity and simply wash with warm soapy water when you’re done.

Crops & Paddles

Many people fantasise about either spanking their partner, or being spanked. A crop, flogger or paddle can therefore appeal to both of your desires. Start off slow, and discover your limits. You might find that you like to be slapped hard on the buttocks, or perhaps you simply enjoy the sensation of a satin whip being dragged over your body while blindfolded. There are a number of different ways to enjoy this sensation, just make sure to listen to your partner and take it easy in the beginning.

Touche Tickler

Touche Tickler

Smackers - Triple Kisser

Smackers - Triple Kisser

Elite - Silicone Bondage Whip Red

Elite - Silicone Bondage Whip Red

Limited - Rubber Paddle

Limited - Rubber Paddle

Black Rose Whipping Willow

Black Rose Whipping Willow

Price

$14.95

$12.95

$19.25

$18.95

$27.95

Length

18 cm

31cm

27.9 cm

63.5 cm

Width

7cm

5.1 cm

3 cm

Material

Plastic

PU/iron

Silicone

Rubber/Vinyl/Plastic

Nylon

Comparison of Top 5

Comparison of the top 5 BDSM beginners crops and paddles.

Touche Tickler

This is about as tame as you can get when it comes to using crops and paddles, and it’s a fun way to get used to the feeling of something other than skin against your own skin. Cute and playful feathers can tickle and tease, before introducing something a little sturdier. Choose a bright neon colour and tickle it across nipples, chest, back, face (this is where the blindfold comes into play) and genitals. The stem is about 23cm long and this makes a great gift as well.

Cal Exotics Smackers Triple Kisser

This paddle is a great introduction to slapping and spanking. It’s around 31cm long and 7cm wide and very lightweight, weighing around 2.25oz. It’s a minimalist design, with no bells and whistles aside from the cute red lips adorning one side. Start off with a light spanking during foreplay then work your way towards something a little more exciting as things heat up.

PipeDream Fetish Fantasy Elite Silicone Bondage Whip

As mentioned before, we love silicone for its durability, versatility, hypoallergenic properties and the way it feels against the skin. If you’re interested in introducing a whip to the bedroom, this is a great starting point because the materials are such high quality that it will last you for years to come. The soft tassels are great for teasing, draping and tickling. When you’re ready to work your way up to something a little more intense, the silicone handle is easy to grip and the material lends itself to some serious whipping. The tassels deliver a softer blow than a single lash whip, and the silicone is soft to the touch. So you can basically use this however you please. It’s perfect for beginners and will then become an essential part of your bondage play as you become more of an expert.

PipeDream Fetish Fantasy Rubber Paddle (Limited Edition)

The soft, bendy finish on this rubber paddle makes it the perfect starting point for a little light bondage. At about 28cm long, it’s easy to get a good grip and work your way from a light spank to a serious slap. Each side is textured to add another layer of stimulation to the experience, with a series of raised bumps and nubs in differing patterns depending which side you use. The textured handle means you can keep a good grip, even if using in water or your hands are covered in lube. It is very bendy yet still really firm, and because it’s made by PipeDream you know it’s going to be really durable.

Doc Johnson Whipping Willow

Another beautifully designed product from Doc Johnson’s Black Rose line, in the signature purple and black colour combo. The cords are made from a soft leather-like material, which makes it a more affordable option than real leather and a bit softer for beginners as well. The cords are really long, so you can even experiment with using them to restrain your partner if the mood strikes. The handle has a nice, heavy feel in the palm of your hand with a feminine black rose on the end. For a medium intensity, just swing the tips against your partner’s skin, or if you want to go for a heavier thud then allow the falls to strike fully against the back, buttocks or thighs.

Clamps

Nipple clamps are a really popular BDSM technique. You’re essentially making a sensitive area of the body even more sensitive, upping the intensity and causing your body to experience pleasure and pain at the same time. Just remember that the amin use of a clamp is to cut off circulation, because the feeling when the blood rushes back in upon release is what gives you that euphoric high. So they shouldn’t be left on for a long time. Tease the nipple until it goes hard, then apply the clamps. Beginners should aim for just a few minutes at a time, working your way up to 10 minutes and then 20 minutes when you start getting more advanced. Communication is really important, and you must let your partner know if you experience any swelling, discolouration or bleeding.

First Time Fetish Nipple Teasers

First Time Fetish Nipple Teasers

Nipple Play Nipplettes

Nipple Play Nipplettes

Metal Worx - Magnetic Nipple Clamps

Metal Worx - Magnetic Nipple Clamps

Butterfly Nipple Clamps

Butterfly Nipple Clamps

Price

$11.95

$32.81

$36.95

$13.95

Length

32.5 cm (chain) 5.75 cm (clamp)

Clamps(7cm)

0.6 cm

Width

Clamps(cm)

1.9 cm

Material

Metal/Rubber

Clamps(ABS Plastic / Polyurethane Cote), Buttons(Thermoplastic Elastomer), Screws(Nylon)

Stainless Steel

Polyester/Rubber/Metal

Comparison of Top 4

Comparison of the top 4 bdsm beginners nipple clamps.

Cal Exotics First Time Fetish Nipple Teasers

These rubber-coated clamps are a great place to start, because they’ve got little screws to help you adjust the tension. Once the nipple is hard, place the clamps on one at a time and tighten or loosen them as you go. The clamps are joined by a 32cm chain, which looks really sexy and also means you can clamp yourself to your partner and experience the new sensations together. You can even experiment with wrapping the chain around your partner’s neck and clamping your nipples, using the chain to draw their head down between your breasts. Once you’ve got used to the sensation, you could even remove the rubber coating and feel the cool, nickel-free iron against your skin.

Cal Exotics Nipplettes

Once you’ve become used to the sensation of nipple clamping, why not take things to the next level with these vibrating clamps. Made from ABS plastic with a soft, velvetty PU coating, there’s a small screw so you can adjust the tension to your liking. Each clamp takes three watch batteries (two sets are included), and they’re fully waterproof so you can use them in the bath, shower or hot tub. Simply push the little button on the end of the clamp to activate the vibrations.

The material is free of latex and phthalates (a controversial plastic softening chemical) but cannot be used with any oil-based lubes or massage oils.

PipeDream Fetish Fantasy Limited Edition Magnetic Nipple Clamps

These are so luxurious it’s like jewellery for your nipples. They make a great gift for your partner. Each clamp is crafted from hypoallergenic metal alloy, with a shiny gem on the end of each magnet. Place the ring over your hard nipple, and twist the jeweled magnets in until you reach your desired intensity. They can be sterilised, boiled and are fully waterproof.

PipeDream Fetish Fantasy Butterfly Nipple Clamps

Another gorgeous set of clamps that not only look stylish but are designed for beginners. Each clamp has a removable rubber tip, so you can start off soft and work your way towards removing the tip and feeling the cool metal clips against your nipple. A simple screw allows you to adjust the tension while the butterfly charms dangle from the clamps, swaying in time with your body and stimulating your skin as they brush against it.

Summary

By now you should be excited about introducing a little BDSM into the bedroom. There is no need to be overwhelmed, and this guide has been written to help you find some great beginner products that aren’t too hardcore. BDSM isn’t just about whips, gimp masks and harnesses. It can be as simple as a feather tickler brushing gently against your nipples. Something like a set of clamps with removable rubber tips will take you from your early sessions right up to more advanced bondage play. As we always say, the price you pay is a good indication of the quality of product. Splashing out a little bit extra means your bondage items is less likely to break in the middle of the action. We suggest you buy from a trusted brand such as Cal Exotics, Doc Johnson or PipeDream so that you know you’re getting high quality materials. The most important thing to remember is that bondage should be fun. Sure, it might start off with a few nerves and akward moments but you’ll soon be thankful you took the first step.

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