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How to Let Him Know that You Aren’t Prepared for Sex, Without Scaring Him Away

happy-couplePressure is something none of us would like in our lives. Being a woman, the worst kind of pressure you can expect is when your man is all gung-ho about having sex with you, but you’re not just up to it. So, how do you tell your guy that it’s not the right time? Following are some ways to do it:

Tell him you aren’t ready – Telling him politely that you’re just not ready is one of the best ways of going about it. You can request him to understand your feelings and be a little patient. Gently put the point across that although you do want to get into bed with him, but aren’t comfortable about it at this stage.

Tell him you wish to wait for some more time – Let him know about your feelings that you find your relationship to be in nascent stage. Regardless of how many men you’ve slept with, you need your fair share of time to decide whether you want to go to bed with this one not. Feel free to let him know that you’d like to wait some more, as you need time to get comfortable with him.

Let him know that you don’t want to ruin things – Sometimes having sex too early in a relationship can spoil things. It’s important to form an emotional connect with the person and progress naturally towards sex. Make him aware that you love the relationship that you both share and wouldn’t want to ruin things by having sex at this point.

Let him know that you don’t want to be tested – In the event that your partner continues to pressurise you for sex, you’ll be left with no option but to act a little firm. Tell him that sex is not the only way or the best way of testing your love for him. He should know that things will slowly fall in place with time, and his insistence is not going to help the matter.

While communicating your feelings to him, take care of the following points:

  • Avoid being rude – Sex is a highly sensitive topic and it is important that you don’t end up making him feel unwanted or unworthy of going to bed with. Be very gentle when you turn down his advances. Try massaging his ego and thereafter tell him about your opinion.
  • Never let the pressure get the better of you – There may be chances that your partner may put a lot of indirect or direct pressure for having sex. Don’t give in to this pressure and stick to your guns. You will have to approach the matter with great care and he will definitely understand that he must respect your wishes.
  • Be firm if the need be – In case none of your efforts are slowing down his advances, you’ll have no option but to act very firm about the whole thing. Tell him that you just don’t want to have sex right now. The message must reach him loud and clear. He should understand that you will not give in as of now and the sooner he acknowledges this reality, the better it will be for the relationship. If he ends up leaving you, then probably he wasn’t worth it at all.
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